It is very DISCOURAGING to be looking for a job when no one is hiring.
It is very DISCOURAGING to see plans fail.
It is very DISCOURAGING to not be moving forward in anything.

This is kind of where I am. I am a planner who likes to live on a whim, meaning that although I love the spontaneous moments of the day to day life I always have a goal. However, right now in my life I am living from one whim to the next. But today, as I started orchestrating a couple hymns for my dad, I have been ENCOURAGED by the lyrics. They couldn’t have come at a better time.

All the way my Savior leads me; What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy, who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort, here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well;

All the way my Savior leads me, cheers each winding path I tread;
Gives me grace for every trial, feeds me with the living Bread.
Though my weary steps may falter, and my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me, Lo! A spring of joy I see;

All the way my Savior leads me O the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised in my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal, wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages— Jesus led me all the way;
–Fanny J. Crosby

So the other day I was talking to a friend about moving. I, of course, have recently moved again which made me think about how often I actually do relocate. I realized that since I graduated from high school in 2003 I have averaged 2 moves per year. Which means I have:

Moved 14 times.
Lived in 3 different states.
Lived in 12 different apartments/houses.
Had 12 roommates.
Had 84 housemates.
Not lived in one space longer than 9 months.

It makes since that I don’t ever feel settled, that I can’t throw away boxes because I feel that I will be needing them soon, and that some people call me flighty. Oh well… it’s supposed to be an adventure…. right?

Back in September I had some items stolen out of my suitcase on a flight. I called to let them know what had happened and I didn’t really expect much in return. After all, I couldn’t prove what had been in my bag and what wasn’t now. They told me they could reimburse me for like $30 which was all that the stuff was worth anyway. I completely forgot about that part until just yesterday.

I got home and found some mail from American Airlines. There was a letter apologizing for the theft and explained that they take baggage issues very seriously which is why they sent me a flight voucher for up to $1000!!!!! I couldn’t believe it! I am so excited!! Now I just have to decide where to go….

Top choices at the moment:
New York City
Washington DC
Nashville

Who’s in?

I had decided to move back to California.

Things haven’t worked out here at the seminary like I thought they would and I no longer feel like this is where I need to or want to be. It took me a long time to finally decide that this is what I want to do.

I don’t regret moving out here at all. In fact, I am grateful that I did. I have met some wonderful people here who I will miss a lot. Its been a good time to learn more about the Lord, myself and what I want in life. Sometimes you just have to realize what you don’t want in order to know what you do want. So I believe this chapter is about to come to a close and it’ll be back to square one of figuring out what I am doing with my life.

Let the adventure continue….

I had the opportunity to hear one of my pieces played by musicians from the Fort Worth Symphony. Here it is…

I feel pretty successful with the detox. I have cut down my caffeine intake substantially. I actually had a small cup of coffee the other day and got a headache from drinking it instead of from not having it. I am also not drinking any more sodas, especially dark ones. I’ll be honest, it is hard not to drink coffee but I have been able to ration it into smaller servings. I claim this as a victory!

I have decided to go on a caffeine detox.

You probably know that I am a person who loves coffee. I don’t love it for the caffeine, mind you, I love the taste. However, I have come to the conclusion that my caffeine intake it too great. Generally, I drink a generous portion in the morning and I have gotten into the habit of maybe a soda at work, or another cup of coffee. Comparatively, I think I am in ok shape (haha) but I am still going to cut down on the amount I consume. My strategy of choice: Cold Turkey… they says its the hardest but I am willing to take the challenge.

Currently I have a slight headache and coffee seems to be following me everywhere I go! So wish me luck!

I am a server at a restaurant here in Fort Worth. Servers don’t make much money at all as far as salary is concerned. We really do live off the tips that we make each night. And anyone who has ever waited tables will tell you that it is very easy to fall into stereotyping customers into categories of who will and who will not tip well.

All this to say I had a table tonight who I thought would not be good tippers as soon as I saw them in my section. I still served them as best I could; being cheerful, talking about the weather, filling their tea before the glass was even half empty, but I didn’t expect much. After they left I picked up the ticket and saw that the man had tipped me $20 on a $60 tab… 33%!!! I was stoked. I then told my friend Micaela about it and told her that I just felt blessed by this man… “What a blessing!!!” A little while later I was looking in my waiters’ book and noticed the man’s name for the first time. The man that had broken by stereotype and really blessed my evening is named  W.A. Blessing.

Mr. W.A. Blessing certainly was a blessing to me tonight. It was one of those moments where I felt as though the Lord was reminding me that He is everywhere and to be grateful for all that I have. In this job it is very easy to feel entitled to other people’s money but it is called service for a reason. Service is a gift to others no matter what. (Disclaimer: please continue to tip your servers… they got mouths to feed) I just hope I can continue to find joy in the service I do, wherever, and whenever, regardless of the reward.

For over a year now I have had a restless feeling. I feel like I am wasting time but I don’t know what I should be doing instead. Last year I thought that I needed to move and begin work on a Masters degree so in August that is what I did. However, here I am in Texas at Southwestern Seminary and I feel restless. I am not saying that I was wrong to move, in fact I strongly believe that moving here was the Lord’s will for my life. Still I find myself asking that most unanswered question of all time, “Why?” “Why” doesn’t change a dang thing though. I keep reminding myself that “it is what it is.” But even that statement is lacking when I find the “what is” in myself.

Acts 8 recalls the story of Phillip and the Ethiopian Eunich. An angel of the Lord tells Phillip to go to the road that goes from Jerusalem to Gaza. As Phillip travels down the road he meets the Eunich, explains the Scriptures, watches this man surrender to Christ, baptizes him, and to top it all off is carried away by the Spirit of the Lord.

I bring this up because it is a passage that has really encouraged me throughout this past year. If I had been Phillip I would have been thinking that the reason the Lord sent me down this road is because He had a plan for me in Gaza but God’s plan wasn’t the destination. It was the journey. I need to remember that. I have learned so much this year. I have met wonderful people and seen amazing things. I have shared about the Lord and realized how often I rob Him of glory. I am learning to rely on Him solely because I have nothing and no one else. I thought that by moving out here I had reached my destination but now I see that this is just the first stop. I don’t know how long I will be here but I need to be here fully while I am. It will be what He has set forth for it to be.

Epiphany of the day: Things here in Texas are very different than they are in California. No one here is in a hurry, driving is absurd and everything closes at 9. But after going home this weekend I realized things in California are very different too. I saw a man taking a stroll down the freeway with half of a shirt on and another man standing under the “shade” of a burnt down oak tree just yards away from a healthy oak tree with plenty of shade. Conclusion: People are just weird no matter where you are.

Going home was amazing this past weekend. It was so good to see friends and family. I went for Brenden and Lindsey DuBois’ wedding, which turned out beautiful. We spent a couple days before the big day in Palm Springs where it was really hot but there was NO humidity so I thought it was great. I also got to spend a couple nights at home. It was great to have some friends/family come up Sunday night since I didn’t get to see anyone before I moved to Texas. Here are some photos… Enjoy!

Stinkin adorable Emma Molsberry!

Lindsey and I... she looked amazing!

All the ladies!

Pastor Walter of course got me an essential for my seminary career... Religious Nerd Repellent.